another moral hangover. fuck.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
