you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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