apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
