why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
