hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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