my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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