just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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