I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
