he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
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He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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