I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
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Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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