a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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