Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
