I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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