If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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