I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
