Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You need Xanax blowdarts
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
