Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
