i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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