oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think people are normalizing furries
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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