What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
