i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I wear drunk well.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize