Do you still have your period?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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