I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
