I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
birth control should be required to get into college
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
