I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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