Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
