Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
