I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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