i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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