i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
