According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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