You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
