For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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