tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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