Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.