I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
