she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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