Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
