Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
