glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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