This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
