You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
