Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
