Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
