This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize