How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
