my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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