Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
