I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
