So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
