Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
