She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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