ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
