omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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