you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
