honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
