youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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