Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
