he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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