it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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