OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
