so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just cropdusted the office
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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