the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
