Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
