As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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