He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
