i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
