I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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